The Apparent Truth (How does it look from the outside?) It looks like I am a very happily married woman with a great guy friend. Plain and simple it looks like a good friendship that has never become anything more, although it's obvious that perhaps there could be.

The Real Truth (What it is it really like for me, on the inside?) It feels like I could have everything I've ever wanted, but won't or can't. What I really feel about it is love. I love them both, with all my heart, and that's all the truth I know about it.

The Spirit Truth (If this were serving a spiritual purpose in your life, what would it be?) Spiritually speaking, as according to every religion I've ever known it's a sin. Horribly wrong and I should fight against the sin. From a non-religous spiritual point of view it may be a very important lesson I need to learn in my life.

The Shadow Truth (What is the dark side, the thing you don't want to admit you're getting from this?) The dark side is that I can't make the real truth (how I feel about it) mesh with the spirit truth (how I'm supposed to feel about it) It's a dirty dark little secret that I hate having to keep secret and hate having to feel guilty about. But even more so I find a fun exciting adventure in doing something that feels right but is "naughty" What I get from it is attention. Male attention, which is something girls want and desperatly seek even when they won't admit to it.

The Fairy-Tale Truth (If this were in a fairy tale, known or unknown, what would it be?) I don't think the fairy tale that covers this situation has been written yet. . . But it will someday and it's basic plot will be this. Woman loves two men, both men love her, trouble happens, girl gets to know herself and be ok with others not being ok and in the end finds it's ok to love both and to be loved by both. That's how my fairy tale ending would be.

The Unsaid Truth (What remains to be said?) It all remains unsaid, except here.

And now ... Your turn. What is your truth?

It's one big constant game, in the long run nothing ever changes, in the short run it's pure dramatic hell.
I'll always want "The Other" Not seriously want him, but want him. And I'll always stay with "The One" He is my solid rock, the foundation of all I am and all I have and I love "The One" with all my heart, but I'll always want "The Other" He'll always be there in the background, the friend who could be so much more, who borders on so much more, but never will be. He'll always be "The Other"
it's one big constant game, in the long run nothing ever changes. It's pure dramatic hell.

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I so wanted to kiss "The Other" before he left for work today. There we were standing closer than we should have to each other, neither saying the things we were thinking, neither admitting to the desires we longed to express. There were eyes watching, too many young eyes.

The giggles and the lifestyle I have with "The One" is incredible. It would be ultimately perfect if it weren't for my desires. I have everything I ever wanted and then some. I have an easy life an adoring family, a supportive family. Why isn't that enough. Why can I be so happy with them until I am in the presence of "The Other" why does he ruin my perfection?

"THE TOY"

He was nothing more than a toy to her, or at least that is the lie she told herself. She knew what he was. She knew who he was inside. She knew there was no logic to it. Yet, she persisted, driven by a need she could not name, condemned by a guilt she could. Each moment his hands caressed her were moments she longed and dreaded. Each twitch of his fingers coursing across her labia and nodule-the pleasure exquisite, the emotional aftermath devastating. While he held her nothing of logic prevailed, no thought of stopping could be driven into action. The moment he let her go she cried. She had betrayed true love for nothing more than a toy. And although she regretted every moment of the intense orgasm she knew she would do it again. She knew no matter how she tried she would give in, not only not saying no, but enticing the toy to please her. He was nothing more than a toy to her, or at least that was the lie she told herself.