Nervous

Tomorrow is a big day. Tomorrow morning starts out in a way that could drastically change my next two months. I'm having medical tests done that have a high likely hood of leading to surgery and taking me out of work for six weeks. And as if the concept of leaving my baby business in the hands of hastily hired new employees that don't really know how to run things isn't mind boggling enough, tomorrow I am meeting someone of the female persuasion. A woman I met online through a polyamory site.

Well I hope I am meeting her tomorrow anyway. That is the plan we vaguely had in place, but I haven't heard from her recently and I'm rather nervous that there aren't any solid plans in place and I don't really know what is going on.

"The One" is being sweet and trying to reassure me that he'll keep everything running so I don't have to worry should anything happen "but it won't" he says with a great sense of optimism or denial, I'm not really sure which.

"The Other" has been informed that he has a lot more chemo to do. I can imagine his slight sense of despair, it's sucks to be told you're going to voluntarily be hella sick for a minimum of another several months. I wish I could just go out and hold him. Although I'm hard pressed to tell if that's more for him or more for me. I was going to go visit him tonight, but he didn't feel well enough. I'm a little afraid that I might not be getting to see him again for a long time if the medical tests in the morning don't go so well.

Tomorrow's a big day. I think I'm going to go get some sleep.