The Five Year Plan.

While linking from one cheaters website to another and hearing about how these women cheat and lie to their husbands there was one in particular who disturbed me greatly. She has a loveless marriage and a five year plan to disentangle their lives so that she can divorce him. She was sleeping around with 7 or 8 men (I can't fathom how she keeps them all straight and secret)

But a five year plan? How much of a cold calculating bitch do you have to be to do something like that (by the way I'm sure I would plan mine out and be a massively vindictive bitch who ends up with everything should I ever decide to want to leave) which is what bothers me so much. If I would do it (and dislike myself for it) then I have to wonder if "The One" would and no matter how much I am assured that "The One" is an incredible man who will stick by my side and love me no matter what I do, I have a deep down fear that eventually he will decide this poly thing doesn't work for him.

I've come across a website. I like it. I connected with this particular section of a post.

"Usually when I use my vibrator or hands, I am fantasizing about someone fictional and imagined. But now I can't stop seeing you when I close my eyes and pretend you're there with me. . . I hope our talk of going away together isn't just all talk. I want to be in another town, not hiding our affection, and not on the clock with you. I don't want to worry about being caught, about being late, or about trying to rush and jam everything into 3 hours. I imagine being in Chicago with you again, but without having to sneak around like last time. Other than that, I agree -- it was our best night yet. You're fabulous. I wish I had you here every day but I know you'd grow tired of my cranky mornings, bad cooking and ability to turn white shirts purple. Please come home soon. I miss your eyes, your lips, your skin. "

from http://smilergrogan.blogspot.com/

Great Expectations

"The One" is a fabulous husband. He works hard all day at work, goes home and has a very limited amount of time to himself and then takes the kid from me so I can play and he goes home and reads the child books and tucks the child into bed and all around shows the child how much the child is loved. "The One" cleans the house and tries to lower my stress levels. He is snuggly when I crawl into bed late at night and is mostly receptive when I crawl in horny and naked. He helps out at the shop. He brings fresh ideas and is always friendly and social with the customers. He is sweet and nice almost to a fault. He has an oral hygiene fetish (which is not at all a bad thing). All around he's great and I love him.

"The Other" is a fabulous (what do I put in here; lover, friend, boyfriend, significant other, manager, deep dark secret?) Anyway whichever it is, he's a wonderful one of those. He comes into work early to accomplish things. He comes in even earlier to see me when we can be alone. He takes the time to remind me of things I need to accomplish and sends me home when I'm too tired to be useful anymore. He will do what needs to be done to make the place run when I can't be here and to make things easier for me when I can. He sets aside time weekly to snuggle or at least spend time together. Damn. . . .
I'm having a hard time with this one. You know how when you are mad or disappointed or just not entirely happy with a guy how you have a hard time thinking of anything wonderful about them even tho you know there are so many wonderful things about him that you could write a list as long as a Harry Pottter novel? Well I guess I'm not entirely thrilled with him at the moment because I'm having a very difficult time coming up with lots of wonderful things about him that don't involve the way he touches me or looks at me. I'm not even sure what it is that has me less than entirely happy with him.

I think it might be a lack of attention. Which is silly since we spend almost every day together. And that can't be it because I don't get to spend much time with "The One" either but I'm still madly up on fabulous things about him and don't seem to have any issues. Hmmm, must be hormones, or expectations. I would be remiss to claim that I don't have exceptionally high expectations. I'd be even more remiss to admit that I'm not disappointed when these expectations aren't met. I used to have this problem with "The One" a lot, but as of late I haven't had any of the feelings of disappointment of expectations not met. I'm not sure if this is because he's being spectacular or if I've just lowered my expectations over the years. After all I have known him long enough to have realistic expectations about how he will behave. (not that I don't occasionally hope for things I've learned not to expect)