Snuggling has got to be one of the best past times in existence. It outdoes watching movies. It outdoes hanging out or playing games or anything else. It's a fabulous way to spend time with someone you love and I did a lot of that today with "The One" I love.

I don't know what happened. I was doing so good. I was talking to him, "The Other" online and everything was going fine and I didn't need him and I didn't want him. But then I'm talking to him and BOOM it's over. I need him. I want him. I want to be near him I don't care what we are doing I just want to be near him. I don't care if we sit and talk, I don't care if we go out to dinner, I don't care if it's a make out session in a freezing truck as long as it's him. Why can't I stop myself from this? Why can't I force myself to see the bad and be turned off by it. Why do I always have these sneaky thoughts in my head of how we could spend time together? Why do I almost go through with them? AUUGH. It's frustrating. I should walk away right now. Stop talking to him while I feel this way. Walk away. . . Just walk away. . . I don't seem to be walking away. . . Damn, why am I not walking away?

I'm not feeling connected to lesbians at the moment. I think men and women and all that sexual shit is too complicated. Not that I want to give it up. . I just kinda want to tell it to fuck itself.