Did I say I was going to take my dear sweet time? Well it leapt right into large fingerfuls of frosting breaking into the cake aka: blowjob. I guess I'm not so good at the taking it slow thing. The thing is that it didn't really make me happy. I mean don't get me wrong "The Other" is decently endowed and was very pleasant to lick like a lollipop, but the whole overall effect just wasn't quite right. I guess I belong heart and soul to "The One" I'm always afraid that I'm going to go one step too far and seriously hurt "The One". "The One" claims that he is cool with all of it and shows no signs of jealousy at all, I think that is part of what worries me. I mean it's cool that he is confident that I will love him no matter what else I do. But what if it's not so much that he knows that how I fell about someone else won't diminish the way I feel about him, but that he doesn't even care how I feel about him. Like he's impervious to my feelings? Being near the one makes me happy. Thinking of being with him forever makes me smile. And although I can't in anyway deny heavy HEAVY sexual tension with "The Other" I'm not sure if there is anything there besides friendship and pheremones.

I'm pretty sure that's what really does it for me. Friendship and pheremones. "The Other" although someone I think about as a dear and extremely close friend, in close proximity sets off every sexual button I have. Last night while I was at work with "The Other" it became quite clear to me that pheremones play a really large part in my attraction. When I was far enough away from him that I couldn't smell him I was fine. Like nothing really there. But when I walked into his wafting space alarms and triggers went off like a car alarm from a local bomb. But a min or two after I walked back out of that smelling range I was fine again. Like nothing had happened fine. It was rather weird. It's interesting to know that his pheremones set me off like that. From a strictly biological point of view that would mean that we make a good genetic match. From a psychological viewpoint it makes me question all the feelings that have hit me so strong when I'm sitting next to him. Was it all just pheremones? Is that all I want with him? Is it just some base instinct of good reproduction?

I've always been one to choose a man partly for his breeding stock, but it's wrong to have that as the sole means, especially when breeding isn't in the picture.