Tonight when I crawled into bed I had this overwhelming guilt and I had to tell "The One" that I feel guilty about my sexual tension with "The Other". You see I spent all day with "The Other" and I mean all day, from 7:30am until almost one in the morning. Only about 6 hours of this was unsupervised and we were driving all that time, so there was nothing done particularity to cause a guilty conscious. What made me feel guilty was the fact that I couldn't stop thinking about "The Other", that I really wanted him to hold my hand while we drove, that I talked in flirting tones but more than half meaning the things I said. That I got a thrill up my spine every time we brushed each other. The truth is I want him. I really want him. The only thing that is holding me back is that I don't want to ruin my marriage or my husband. The sexual tension is getting to a point that it's going to become a problem. I don't know what do do about it. I need to stop it. I thought about cutting off all communication with "The Other" but even "The One" doesn't want to do that (I believe I have mentioned that they get along) I don't know what else to do. I think I realized the seriousness of the problem when the following conversation occurred:

me: (some flirty comment)
"The Other": You don't play fair
me: I thought all was fair in love and war
"The Other": So you think we're at war?
me: (pregnant pause) no
"The Other": Oh, you don't even play fair when we are talking about playing fair.

I can see things escalating between myself and "The Other" and the idea both thrills and horrifies me. I'm lost in a sea of confusion. I'm either going to have to cut all ties or I'm going to have to fuck him. I hate these points. Why can't it just stay a nice friendly light sexual tension that I never have to really think about. Why is it that even tho I can get what I want all straight in my head, all that I want logically falls to pieces in his presence?