Oh where do I begin? A while back, well several years back I had a brief fling with "The Other" and when I say brief, I mean we never had sex, although we did some hot and heavy make out like stuff. And although I have been straight forward and honest with "The One" about it, I can't help but feel guilty about the stupidity of my actions. I have all sorts of justifications for my actions. I can rationalize it until it seems like the only logical decisions I could have made (which is ridiculous). "The One" has forgiven me, and even seems to truly trust me again, but I can't seem to forgive myself about it. I have this nagging little voice that tells me how horrible I am for having hurt "The One" the way I did. And the part I think I have can't forgive myself for the most is that I can't honestly say that I wouldn't make that same decision if I were to go back, even knowing what I know now. I've made a rather lot of bad decisions in my life and each and every one of them has brought me to where I am now, and I mostly like where I am now. All the things that I can't forgive myself for are what gave me the knowlegde I have now and the wisdom not to do those kinds of things again. They were valuable lessons in my life. . . And I'm rationalizing again. Really there is no excuse for the stupidity of my actions. I need to just accept that and be a better person because of it. "The One" has granted me forgiveness and that gift is one I treasure.