Wow.

I have just reread this entire site. Yup, every single entry. . . In reverse order from what they were posted. I wonder if writing down all the stuff I wanted to do made it easier to do. I wonder if giving voice to the thoughts made them more real and substantial and harder to deny. (obviously having a written record makes things harder to deny, but what I meant was harder to resist doing)

I've talked quite a bit with "The One" in the past day or so. It's nice to hear his voice and be told that he still loves me. I've made no mention of the decision not to communicate with "The Other" I figure it will be easier for me if I just ease him out of my life without other people asking how it's going, or for that matter having to explain what prompted me to make the decision that it just isn't ok to be anything anymore. I'm really looking forward to going home soon and spending significantly more time with "The One" We have a lot of family plans over the holiday and all those family activities will help me to solidify why it is that I am soo in love with "The One". Even "The One's" sister is coming to town and she and her husband are such great people. I always enjoy having them around. I always enjoy their insights on life, I even enjoy the interaction between her and "The One" . . . "The One" picks on her till she beats the snot out of him. He can't seem to handle if she doesn't react and she ALWAYS wins, but it's a great little thing they always do and I generally giggle about it. It's likely that I'll also see "The One's" grandparents and even talk with his cousin and her children. All these people are great people and remembering that I'm married into that will be very good for me.

Obviously I haven't talked to "The Other" within the past two day. Can't say as it's affected me too much yet as I haven't been awake or online much during the times that he generally is and I've been awfully busy hanging out with my adorable lovechild (who is in need of some serious retraining after spending a week with his grandparents) and some friends who not only would not understand, but they would be appalled at the very idea. (They happen to be newlyweds)

I have however got something to report about the whole lesbian thing. . . Oh yeah. I had the most kick ass lesbian action dream last night. I wasn't in it, but it was good girl on girl action anyway and it made me want to start looking into that whole area again.