Should've been

I'm not even close to getting over "The Other" The pain still rages inside me ever minute of every day. The soul that we share still feels like it's been ripped in half and is bleeding out my very essence. It often still feels like he's there with me. I often still think I should call and check on him or tell him how things are going, or ask to hear how much he loves me. I still talk to him like I used to in my head when he wasn't available. He doesn't really answer and it was more of just a practice of what I'd say when I did get to talk to him.

I've been rereading things he wrote to me, things I wrote to him, things I wrote about him and I came across something he wrote to me six years ago. It stated how he really felt. It stated how he'd always feel. I don't think he premeditated it in anyway, I think he was just adamant to let me know how deep his feelings were and how very much he meant to be there for me no matter what. I think they would have made spectacular vows had he stayed around long enough to make them.

"No matter how much you change or stay the same, I will love you always.
No matter how much I will do things the wrong way on purpose, or how often we have heated battles, I will love you always.
No matter what you want, be it the sun's demise or worse, I will love you always.
No matter the difference between our personalities, our desires, our questionable flavors, or our hobbies, I will love you always.
You are a wonderful person full of emotion and life. If you choose to behave a certain way, in a way that best enunciates and allows these emotions to flourish, I will not stop you. I will love you always."