The Vows

Having "The Other" pass away hasn't gotten any easier although it's almost been a week now. I feel I should write thing that I want to remember.

On may 19th at 10:03pm I proposed to "The Other". I'd had the ring in my purse for a very long time sitting in the little inner zippered pocket with my over the counter medications. I kept waiting for just the perfect moment to make it special and memorable. I was in the hospital visiting him, fingering the ring, the moment seemed almost perfect, then his nurse walked in. and I chickened out completely. As I left him that night I texted a friend and told her. She told me to stop being a pussy.

I ended up texting "The Other" several times and then finally asked him over his phone. He replied "I'd be honored" It was another several weeks before I'd slip the ring into his hand and tell him while looking deep into his eyes and whispering I loved him. I'm not sure if I needed to say anything, the connection between our eyes at that moment was so intense, it said everything about our feelings.

At his viewing Tuesday night, I waited until nearly everyone had left and I had a moment alone with him. I just looked at him for a while. He was so handsome laying there. I told him my vows. I promised him my love for all eternity. Told him that even though I'll spend this life with "My One" that I wanted to spend all of eternity with him. After I'd said what I needed to say I left him my ring. I slid it under his hands. I feel very much like we'll be united for eternity and like he's always wanted, we'll watch the end of it all together.

It's not the way we'd planned, but somehow it's enough.