It's not any easier yet

"The One" has been so supportive for me this last week. He's manned the store even tho he is tired and wants nothing more than a night at home. He's held me at night, watched my pain and still loved me. He's been the only thing getting me through all this.

I had a disappointing appointment today. The doctor told me things I suspected but didn't want to hear. As usual I ran to "The Other" to share my pain and let him comfort me, but this time it was at his grave. Standing there beside his still fresh grave with the wilting flowers from his funeral taunting my fresh pain, I told him everything. It must have helped. It wasn't his big hug and comforting words. It wasn't his hand holding mine. It wasn't his eyes whispering his love. It wasn't his lips kissing away my sorrow. But somehow I think it helped anyway.

"The One" has been talking online with a lady for a while now. He and I went down and met her and her children and she's come up and joined some of our activities. She's a neat lady, does lots of cool things, but doesn't like herself yet. She comes with baggage, baggage that makes me a little nervous. But still there's a potential when she makes herself whole, and I learn to live without "The other".