Bitching

Every had the feeling life was too busy? The One and I aren't finding enough time to relax and make love. I've found this isn't a problem because I intrinsically understand the need for sleep, for both of us. I can hold off knowing that sometime in a day or two we'll find time. He's awfully good to me, trying to calm my angry and frustrated nerves, tucking the love child in and cleaning the house I can only stand in amazement and avoid acknowledging to keep my sanity.

It's been one full cycle since the other and I have been able to make love. A vast majority of it is circumstance. Although there have been enough offers refused that I'm finding it affecting my emotions. An ego can really only take so many rejections especially when there are circumstances that in my mind would create a stronger desire instead of a diminished one. But as usual I find I'm second string to any number of different activities. (Some are viable excuses for which I completely understand, others not so much) I think perhaps it has something to do with me claiming outright that I want sex. For some reason that gets me turned down a good 90% of the time. I would be lieing if I said this were not my goal, but perhaps if I were to approach with a more subtle, no sex just spending time together thing I would be more successful.

In all honesty I feel a bit like the relationship with "The Other" has become pointless. We have lost all our communication through messenger, which is how we really got to know each other and how we spent large portions of time communicating. We have lost any real time alone, as movie night has expanded to include the one and often times other people. We communicate at work but generally only about work related things, and now if we have lost our intimate time and sex, I don't see as there is much left aside from the professional relationship. "The Other" is fairly good at work, there are many things about his work that I greatly appreciate and other things that I'd like to see improved but on the whole I would say the working relationship is by and large the only real relationship that "The Other" and I have on a functioning level.

Hmm I should probably discuss this with "The Other" before posting . . But I'm not going to. So. . . When you read this "The Other" Please don't panic or fear that I'm wanting to run. That is not at all the case, I would however like to discuss this (and fuck, but that's apparently an issue for another time)

As for women. . . There is this female at my work location who found out that I am of a bicurious nature and has for several days been making every attempt to touch me, fondle me, and otherwise make a very public show of coming onto me. I'm thinking it's all in jest, but my certainty is wavering as the displays continue. Could I be misreading her attentions as jests when she is actually trying start a dialog?