Men and me

"The One" has made a great many friends in the last couple years. Most of his friends are young single males that he hangs out with several nights a week. These young single males are also intelligent computer geeks who appreciate the proper sci/fi-horror flicks. It's nice to see "The One" enjoying his social life so much.

"The Other" really perked me up the other day. I was having one of those momentary "is it all worth it" moments of owning a business and by simply acknowledging my concerns and talking about ways to make it work better. Talking business plans and ideas on how to accomplish things really turns me on. I was left rather horny from the conversation.

I've been spending a lot of time considering what it is I really want to be doing and what I want to accomplish in life. (hence the doubt on the business) I was getting to the point where I wasn't sure I wanted another child anymore. Figuring the time and effort and distance between kids was getting to the outer limit of acceptability when I found out I was pregnant. In the mater of seconds it took for the extra line to appear on the test, I knew that I wanted that child. I was SO excited and thrilled and was staring to plan. And then it was all over, as suddenly as it had started. In a shorter time than it took me to recognize that I was pregnant, I knew it was over when I woke up bleeding. 5 days of pure bliss and anticipation ended in a split second.

I haven't cried yet. It all seems like a cruel joke. Some time ago when I was really into a religion, I was given a blessing of sorts to help guide me in my life. It was printed out on paper and told me several things about my future including a reference to sons and daughters who would come through me. I always figured it meant I would have children and not just miscarriages. But like most things it's the letter of the law not the spirit of it.