I almost left the comment

I sooo connected with a description of a soulmate connection today. . . Almost left a comment on the post but I started ranting so I put it here instead.


Ouch. If it's a real connection you can't break it if you try. . .Trust me I've tried, a lot. When there is that connection that's completely unexplainable and comes through the IM without anything ever really being said. . . .Or when suddenly you just know what he is thinking even tho you haven't talked in days. . . Yeah I miss that. I'm horribly torn between telling you to run like hell or find a way to have it all, but really I don't want to tell you anything. I don't want to give any advice. I guess I just whole heartedly understood the description. I knew exactly what you meant, no one knows you so well without ever even having to talk about it and no one can hurt you so easily.

Had a bit of that with "The Other" tonight. I wanted him so bad that it hurt to let him go. Not sexually, get your mind out of the gutter. I was so connected and so enjoying our time together and thinking how unfair it was that I couldn't keep him. That I couldn't even ask to really keep him because we both know I can't and won't and probably wouldn't enjoy it as much as I think I would. But wanting him that bad always scares me. Always gives me a slightly sour grapes thing where I want to push him away and tell him never to speak to me again. I've gotton a lot better at not telling him that because I've learned that given a couple hours or days I always want him, and that whole I don't think we should talk anymore thing gets SOOO old and unbelievable after the first dozen times.