Fuck

I'm horny. Really damn horny, and it's not fair that I have a willing man at my fingertips and I want the one I can't have.

Not that I don't appreciate the willing one at my fingertips, he's great and he's willing and it's more than likely that I will take advantage of that willingness, but before I could I had to get online and see if "The Other" was available.

Although I have a strong urge to ask him to do all sorts of kinky things should he get online tonight I probably won't ask. My reasoning for this is because I'm not disappointed if I don't ask. I seem to be disappointed if I do ask, even when I'm certain he'll say no, which happens to be the vast majority of the time.

In that logical part of me that has meticulously paid attention to any and all advise on relationships, I know I should not ask, make him come to me if he wants it, but I seem unable to follow this when I'm talking with him and am completely unable to think of anything other than hard parts of him rubbing against soft parts of me. In fact I shouldn't be posting on here, as it's inevitable that he will read it, which will probably just make the time till he comes to me that much longer, as he'll know I want him. So enough rambling I'm going to go appreciate what I have instead of sitting here longing for what I don't.