It's not about the sex

Sex is apparently the only lure I have to get time from my men. And I'll be the first to admit that I am a massive fan of sex and often instigate or even demand sex. But on many occasions I can't lure either of my men to spend time with me without the distinct implication there will be sex involved. When I've left it vague as to where the snuggling will lead I'm often disapointed that at the point it becomes clear our expecations are different the guy runs off to do something else instead. Isn't it ok to just want time?