The Mind and Body disconnection

I'm so weak I can barely get out of bed. I have short spans of time before I fall back asleep, no matter what I'm doing. I'm in pain, my mind is barely conscious of what is going on around me. I'm sick, very very sick.

And through it all I still miss him, still want to be held, still want to talk about anything and everything. I'd go visit him at work, but that is just frustration. I can't really talk with him there. Can't do anything, Can't admit to anything, can't even flirt. The double life thing may seem fun, but not when I just want to take him in the back and fulfill fantasies his fantasies haven't even been able to dream up. And I can't even tell him about the desire.

oh well. . . Back to bed again.